When I was eight I got grounded from AOL because someone ratted me out for reciting the lyrics to Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" in a chat room.

Yeah, well, when I was eight I got my very first personal email address. What does she have to say to that?

My now husband and me first date. Without a doubt. Let me set the scene.

Just in case anyone is thinking "how can she disrespect her great grandmother and family history that way, by making fun of the name Virgine?"

Oh man, I wish this was a 'bullet dodged' story, but...

NO I AM THE WINNER THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

Had I been a boy, I would have been Jeremiah Bullfrog {Lastname}.

My wee half-sister's middle name is the place she was conceived. My other sister nearly laughed herself to death over the prospect of one day telling her until my mum contemplatively informed us that if she'd used that method to name us, Other Sister's middle name would be 'Table'.

In their defense, Mina is approximately eleventy billion times better than Renesmee. I despise myself for knowing it, but in my defense I had to look up the spelling.

I never comment, but now is my moment to shine, or whatever. Had I been born a boy, I would have been named Joe Jr. after my dad. My dad's name isn't Joe but it is Jose, and he's already a junior. He also has a son from a previous relationship whose name is Joe Jr. For girl names my mom went back and forth, one of the…

My dad *really* wanted to name me "Moonbeam". Cute, her parents were hippies, you say? Yeah, imagine how it would have gone when, 18 years later, I'm standing in formation at basic training and the drill sergeant doing mail call yells out "Pvt. Moonbeam Jones!" Luckily, my mom vetoed that one.

My dad wanted to name me Mabelline.

My dad really wanted to name me Hawkeye, but my mom balked. When I was a kid I thought I'd be embarrassed by that name but now I think it would be bad ass.

My dad's name is Norman. I love him to pieces but I don't know that I'd even name a pet Norman. Even better? Middle name 'Dee'.

I like it as long as it's said is a snobby English accent as "Bahhhhnstubble."

My grandparents, God rest their souls, had a weird naming tradition going on. My grandpa was Norman and my grandma was Edna. They had a son and a daughter. Instead of going the whole junior route, they did decide to name their children after themselves but with a gender swap, naming my dad Edward and my aunt…

Nearly named Bronte (in honour of the Bronte sisters). Saved when Dad predicted that my nickname would be Bronte-saurus.

Oh, I win this one easily. If I had been a boy I would have been named Barnstable. BARNSTABLE.

Had I been a girl, I'd hve been Lauren. Luckily, I was a boy and named after my grandpa, Jack who died a month after my Irish twin sister Jill was born.