Hold the fucking phone. FARMING SIMULATOR???

Come back when you can calculate IVs and EVs in your head, and tell me how Pokemon isn’t “challenging.”

“Relies on user-submitted tips”

Know what? I’d be perfectly OK with her being a frigid cunt if only I could go back in time and BE THE ONE TO KILL HER CHILD IN FRONT OF HER.

.....what are you talking about?

I take that as a compliment, coming from whichever lesser team you hail from.

Ah yes. Those sophisticated blues.

Oh, Mystic gets along well with Instinct? And you’re proud of that?

I get along well with subhuman things that are no threat to me, too!

OMG, IS EVERY WOMAN ON EARTH STANDING IN LINE TO FUCK YOU?????? YOU MUST BE THE COOLEST MAN TO EVER LIVE!!!!

/s

Ya know, children like eating and breathing, too. You should stop doing both immediately, lest you be “childish” or “uncool” or whatever it is that makes you lose sleep over other people enjoying life.

I care. I care so much.

WHAT IS RED MAY NEVER DIE

Hi. I’m half Cuban, but look white, and I’ve already had a psycho wave a gun at me for walking past his house several times, as if it’s my fault the game keeps spawning starters on his street. I know they’re the popular victims of violence, but they aren’t the only ones.

Constantly open, running, in the foreground. No, you can’t put your phone to sleep. This game exists to force you to walk, and to axe murder your battery. Get a backpack full of battery packs, you’re gunna need it.

Wow. I’d think one would have to know a fair bit about a topic to write an article about it, but Gawker to the rescue.

You don’t just sit and watch gym battles. You tap to use your basic attack, swipe to dodge, and long press to use your power attack (if the meter is full)

Just sitting back and letting shit happen is a…

Because of their idiotic self-imposed requirement of an insanely expensive piece of glass that extends from bonnet to boot.

luxurious carriage of death that is the Model S

I mean, they do have a population problem.