At least one thing is clear: Mayweather couldn't have possibly written and recited that quote in less that a month without 97 teachers and $40 million dollars. Floyd means business this time. That's why he told Beiber to dye his hair.

Sucks being a non-profit organization, doesn't it Rog? When you decide to "formally" attack one of your largest teets, bad things are guaranteed to happen.

After reading the first few emails, and before the deadspin commentary and researching who the hell Harry was, it's clear that Harry knows his shit. He protects his product (and probably the good employees that work to create a good product). What is also clear is that CBS 'decision makers' would refuse to point out…

Update: The Japanese government has just agreed to pay $5 billion as long as a terrified, underage female wearing a school uniform is painted on the roof.

Hey Bernard, you should have figured out that relying on daddy to correct such injustices like your Chinese delivery crisis don't work in the real world. It's food and it costs money no matter how much you dislike it. I urge you to get a real job and realize your place in society. We're simply trying to pay the…

check out THESE pecks Kate. POP. POP. BOOM!

Me neithuh!

Goodell is completely pissed off that Coach Lewis didn't call Manziel a muppet and make $50 million for his non-profit 'Shield'. This means only one thing: $3 million per 30 second slot during the Super Bowl. The Ginger Hammer hath spoketh.

A couple of reactions: First, anyone as tall as the driver must straddle the front wheel. I don't want to straddle this wheel at any speed. A direct, minor front-end collision could change my life forever. I'd rather beach a double-hull tanker and deal with those consequences above hitting a cow or deer in this…

Assuming these changes are legit, the US could host every Olympic Games for the next century as long as Florida, California, and Arizona aren't involved. Woohoo!

PM: [dialing the wrong number] "Pastor to home base! I repeat, this is Pastor to home base. I crash. Sorry. Repeat! I crash into thing! Me no what to do! Help!"

Very simple resolution. If you're "injured" and on the field of play, you better have a field pass, be an official member of either team, or a security officer hired at this event. Otherwise, you go to Mexican jail and either pay your way to freedom or suffer reality. Enjoy your time on TV and prepare for the…

Next week: Charlie Langton sitting a a row boat scared to death that the spray paint adhesive won't send him to the bottom of Lake Huron like those last two assholes.

Perfect example of the new bourgeois being completely afraid of the proletariat they chose to represent. Fire and run for your life.

So Mexico's consumer protection bureau (sorry I forgot the accent, but I totally respect your country), locked down their legal purchases while the United States "protectors" would rather sacrifice their dignity, duty, and doing that weird thing the rest of us do called a "job"? No wonder China loves the USA and…

So Mexico's consumer protection bureau (sorry I forgot the accent, but I totally respect your country), locked down…

Magary just blew a fuse.

Worst protesters ever.

Totally frightened while his equally cue-ball-headed bosses stare at the same camera. Being bald isn't the end of the world.

Well, at least Atlas won...I guess.