"Shoulda signed me bruh"...

Everyone needs to relax and let the NFL Commissioner tell us what's right and wrong. His past record has, at the very least, earned him this level of respect. Just ask his employers like Dan Snyder and Jim Haslam. They'll tell you what's important.

I fully expect Sacramento to protest the season if Memphis makes the playoffs by 1 game and the Kings miss by 12.

I purchased a 350Z 4 years ago with 19k miles. It currently has 33K miles (just paid off!) and I absolutely love it. Many of its design elements are still copied on new cars. Perhaps some of its design was copied from other vehicles. Fair enough. But I still love it even though I haven't put any stickers on the…

"TV makes Sonnen look so good that we should ignore everything he's said and the drug tests he fails. There's some things you can cover up." -Ray Lewis, Master of the Overdance and terrible human being

Chris Broussard is calling this the greatest win in sports television since he won a pickle race that one time in a Houston McDonald's against a 12-year old. Man, that we epic.

"clearly it's a turnover" - Michael Jackson's corpse

One thing is clear: Larry King has, against all odds, solved the grey hair epidemic AND made horrible late night infomercials. He is the genetic messiah.

The NFL has decided, among it's many members, to donate an entire $100 to this organization, and $225,000,000 to maintain the NFL's non-profit status.

This is the most perfect reply to our justice system that could possibly retain as much merit as it did 30 years ago in a movie. Sitting above the law or below the law will always be more beneficial than siting with the law. Just ask every American politician and Phil Simms with his 42 lbs. of mortician makeup.

Someone tell Plumpy McManBoobs sitting behind Duncan that black buttons should be worn with a black sport coat. No wonder no one likes Houston. Gosh.

When you have free access to so many devoted fans that somehow pay for their college education through their parents, grants or loans, and still refuse to wear pants and talk to the media as if you have some sort of enlightening factoid that we could not possibly comprehend, then you are either a monetary disaster or…

My takeaway is that you care about football more than you care about a person that may die. Great set of values you have there, chief.

Guys! Guys! I've got an idea. I'm going to defend the k......OMG WTF JUST HAPPENED??? You all suck.

If Davy Crockett, Yoda, a genetic scientist scared of salt shakers, a Florida "Aging Clinic" owner, Tony Robbins, and a male peacock were locked in a vault for 2 weeks and forced create the worst thing every, it would be this future graduate of FSU holding a "snot rag" in his left hand, unable to make a sign "the…

"Holy smokes paying fans, Elvis is sitting next to Bigfoot 50 feet to your left!!"

Feel it. Break your bones. Mr. Jones:

Torii Hunter is such a great ambassador to Arkansas that he lives in Texas.