"clearly it's a turnover" - Michael Jackson's corpse

One thing is clear: Larry King has, against all odds, solved the grey hair epidemic AND made horrible late night infomercials. He is the genetic messiah.

The NFL has decided, among it's many members, to donate an entire $100 to this organization, and $225,000,000 to maintain the NFL's non-profit status.

This is the most perfect reply to our justice system that could possibly retain as much merit as it did 30 years ago in a movie. Sitting above the law or below the law will always be more beneficial than siting with the law. Just ask every American politician and Phil Simms with his 42 lbs. of mortician makeup.

Someone tell Plumpy McManBoobs sitting behind Duncan that black buttons should be worn with a black sport coat. No wonder no one likes Houston. Gosh.

When you have free access to so many devoted fans that somehow pay for their college education through their parents, grants or loans, and still refuse to wear pants and talk to the media as if you have some sort of enlightening factoid that we could not possibly comprehend, then you are either a monetary disaster or…

My takeaway is that you care about football more than you care about a person that may die. Great set of values you have there, chief.

Guys! Guys! I've got an idea. I'm going to defend the k......OMG WTF JUST HAPPENED??? You all suck.

If Davy Crockett, Yoda, a genetic scientist scared of salt shakers, a Florida "Aging Clinic" owner, Tony Robbins, and a male peacock were locked in a vault for 2 weeks and forced create the worst thing every, it would be this future graduate of FSU holding a "snot rag" in his left hand, unable to make a sign "the…

"Holy smokes paying fans, Elvis is sitting next to Bigfoot 50 feet to your left!!"

Feel it. Break your bones. Mr. Jones:

Torii Hunter is such a great ambassador to Arkansas that he lives in Texas.

Tiny Dan Snyder: "Everyone just needs to calm down. I never said that a redskin deserves a body guard and constitutional rights. What? He's on my payroll? GET HIM AWAY FROM THOSE JIBBA-JABBAS AND BRING HIM TO MY LAIR IMMEDIATELY! Also, call my team of lawyers and that black guy with seven fake names that…

Let's give these refs a break. It's not like ABC is required by law to provide free television to every human in the United States via contractual agreement. The refs only make around $2,500 a game folks. That's a tiny paycheck for anyone working up to 4 hours a week and having the unimaginable responsibility of a…

Wait a minute. Where are the multiple physical assaults between drivers and the random, overweight 65-year old track marshall with type II diabetes trying to break up the fight he has no business being a part of? What a letdown.

Good for the Giants. They absolutely earned a spot in the World Series. Total respect.

Question #1:

The interweb is hiding information! How dare...it.

I stopped at "Watching that last night"