Dan Snyder demands to be put on Survivor immediately to prove that no one should disrespect any sort of tribe.

I have so many words on this issue that I could write a crappy book.

Holy crap. How many people will The Ginger Hammer destroy to save his ass? Guess who is in charge of 'NFL Security'. It's the same person that made $44.2 million just last year while enjoying the tax breaks of a non-profit organization. If the NFLPA would ever get it's shit together they could easily create their…

It's so happy!!

So Cadillac will still build cars that lose 80-90% of their value after 10 years? Got it. Good thing they found a magical way of losing a whole 53 lbs. while planting an automatic transmission behind the engine and still produce cars that weigh as much as a '57 Chevy.

Roger Goodell is very upset by this article. He will devote the next 3 months talking to male athletes, male corporate leaders, Harold Reynolds, and Mr. McGruff. After his scientific research (as proclaimed by Mr. Goodell and no other scientist), he intends to solve the mystery of how hot women were photographed…

Angel Hernandez would have ejected Molina, Puig, everyone in the stands, both bullpens, every cameraman, Harold Reynolds, the grounds crew, and every blade of grass within 30 miles. Then he'd call that pitch a strike.

Hell yeah we have ribs. The largest BBQ contest in the world occurred this weekend in KC. A gigantic wave of sweet smoke smothered downtown KC this weekend. And the goddamn Royals earned their way to the ALCS. This is why everyone in Kansas City is lighting off fireworks even though there's thunder, lightning and…

"AHHuhhhhhhhUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhDON'TTOUCHMEuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...hufff...huffff...hufff...ERUHHHHH.......Play ball!"

Life sucks. Wear a cup. Even you Nauert.

If I make it to 80, I'm going to break all kinds of laws, cut in line in front of everyone, talk shit to anyone that looks younger than 40, tell my grandchildren how hard their life is even though I grew up in the golden age of the internet, hate those god damned 'commies', and gain free access to every sporting…

Or, Geno could have simply approached the fan and, perhaps, made the heckler's day. But, maybe that wouldn't make the news.

Not to be a dick, but shouldn't every air traffic terminal and man-made (or woman-made. I do not discriminate) multi-billion dollar investment by taxpayers be able to handle these types of winds? 67 mph winds at MCI (the magical acronym of the international airport in Kansas City) are a twice-a-year occurrence at…

Perfect 'lampooning' of the disregard real life behavior and relying on corporate direction for protection. Ray Lewis knows how someone died, but he "Looks to Gawd" instead of telling the victim's family and friends how he or his friends actually killed someone while, somehow, losing his gigantic white suit in the…

The 5-head still reigns supreme!

Total lawyer speak. Goodell may not have personally received the video (similar to saying that Deadspin didn't send me an email to my inbox about that guy/gal who did something unbelievable), or watched said video after he was told what was on the video (in order to deny legal liability), but he still doesn't deny…

A two week Twitter suspension? Maybe this is why so many young women have daddy problems and would do anything for their asshole boyfriend. Or maybe this is why ESPN is going to be destroyed by the upcoming TMZ channel. Neither is acceptable, but you gotta play the big money!

Did Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, Mantle, Cy Young, or any other baseball great demand someone eat out their asshole? Hell no they didn't. That's why ESPN will continue to place Jeter among their made-up, illogical pedestal of "Worldwide Leader of Everything We Tell You Bitches". Chris Berman has spent the last 20 years…

These tablets are twice as large as an NES Advantage that was released in 1987. Better click that B turbo button and adjust the turbo settings.

One down, 299,999,999 to go! Make it happen rehab Scott Hall look-a-like!