“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Doesn’t matter, some developer is probably furiously at work on hand-recognition software as we speak.

Haters.

Somehow, 4% of people manage to have no opinion.

BUT WHO WILL EXPLAIN THIS!?

I love the name of the bill starts with HJ

90% of you lazy bastards aren’t even going to color correct the blue tint?

I bet your co-workers love you.

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

At first I understood it as Geralt with a tea which is just as funny.

Everyone I know who isn’t being driven broke by childcare lives near their relatives who are willing to take on having the kids while the parents work. If you don’t have retired, helpful parents, you’re screwed. Even if you have friends who are willing to help (and there are!), they also have jobs and can’t take on…

You did a pretty terrible job of giving up on Kotaku.

As someone who has long-planned to start trying for Baby #2 in October, and whose family has a long-planned trip to Orlando in October, this is just scaring the bejeesus out of me. I asked my OB what precautions I could take, and they were simply, “Meh, just check the CDC site” which pretty much just says “IDK, we’re…

After sex I just crack their ribs open and eat them, that way they are not ALLOWED to speak.

Youre not getting the point. Rational people like you dont deserve this app. This app is for people who like to score. People willing to go the extra mile. Its about being a winner.

I’m not even here to badmouth NASCAR (enough others can do it for me, and I thank them for it).

Crinklebert Bembledack!