Got married on Halloween and this is my tribute to my partner and the fantastic day:

Damn!! Got him right on the button!!

"Say hello to my little brother."

I'd be worked up too after drunkenly naming my daughter Banga.

It looks like an enormous weasel, right?

So in other words citizens shouldn't judge cops based off the actions of a select few, but cops should definitely judge citizens based off the actions of a select few...

I developed an undying love of donkeys as a kid when I went to a fair where they had one of those merry-go-rounds with actual ponies. They had decided one of the ponies needed a break and instead brought in a really ornery donkey as a replacement. I insisted I ride the donkey instead of one of the boring ponies, and…

How am I not a 99 in fashion? This is a fallacy. I am fashion. I brought the leather jogging pant to Fendi. Who else has a signature shoe series. Unbelievable. Actually how am I not a 99 in every category?

Perhaps she was lacing the chalkboard erasers with it so that she could target students she really hated and get them busted for drugs:

I'm a white male who lives elsewhere. This makes me want to cry. I wish I knew what I could do to help other than sit on social media.

Great job reaching down and away for that second one.

What, just another German that wound up in Brazil.

Can he make a jump shot consistently?

Every proper yacht has a ball buoy.