Could the 2018-2019 Eastern Conference All-Stars beat the 8 seed in the West?

Never left? I can count the number of those little Laker car flags I’ve seen in the last five years on one hand. And I’m Jason Pierre-Paul.

It would also be nice if they took Darby and Winston and just launched them into the sun.

Breaking: Cleveland’s spirit

Wow, gun violence AND an assault on a free press all in one? It’s like the conservative dream. 

Does...Does this man have two watches?!

But what if you’re really good at basketball?

In his Twitter bio, Matt Bilinsky refers to himself as a satirist and an “accidental provocateur.” I hope he gets his ass kicked again just for that.

Circle Back In Temecula, Where We Can Take This Offline

This is like 500 days of Kristen and I’m ok with it

You mean they aren’t doing that already?

Finished 2nd in February, too.

“He .... has been wearing a soft cast.”

Why are we pretending they weren’t just down 3-2 to the Rockets? The Finals was ALWAYS going to be bad because the East is bad.

we’re all just dumb

Ball: $0.05

If I lived on the West Coast, I’d start learning Korean—because there’s a real chance this dummy will just give away WA, OR, CA to Kim in exchange for a friendly pat on the back and a few Trump-licensed hotels.

♫ God bless America... land that I luff... dah dah dah dah, hmm hmm hmm, to the thing with the thing over there. Hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm prairies, hey Melania, is that snow? God bless America... la la la no. ♫

He was also responsible for this glorious post after the Eagles won: