I just feel like the Browns have to stop grading Manziel on how he does off the field.

If he screws up too much off the field, it will appear on the field (as it did last year).

It is not their job to be his parents, they should not be ordering him to clean up his off-work life, they should be telling him to make sure…

Since you base your societal views on the norms of the late 18th century, are you still utilizing leeches as a physician?

I’m sure Brady’s teammates would love to know his position on supporting an open racist, just so they know how much effort they should put into blocking angry men of different ethnicities and creeds that mean to do Brady grievous bodily harm.

An alternative solution: have the political media only ask Trump questions about the Patriots’ gameplan for the next week. It would be more enlightening about the Patriots than a Belichick presser, and less stupid about politics than a Trump stump speech.

The medical community disagrees with you.

“Could be funnier.”

Even the tiniest tiny violin DGAF.

Most 13 year olds I knew back then just asked their parents for money. The rest shoveled driveways and mowed lawns.

“I wrote some innocuous thing in 1789 that was just supposed to be about militias and muskets, and now none of these other asshats in heaven will let me live it down.”

“Listen to the cry of the crowd at moment of kickoff - look at the secondary’s struggle on the untimed down, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.”

Bad imitation. That was far too salient.

OK, just spitballing here, but new name for the Redskins: The Washington Kants. Clearly no one would be offended by that.

It’s not really about the deer so much as the attitude of “ha ha ha Brett tortured an animal to death for fun and it was *hilarious*”

Oh come now. He couldn’t possibly be worse than Dennis Miller was.

“Which is true? The thing we saw, or the granular, artificially enhanced, retroactive display of what actually happened? And in a football game, what defines what’s true, if not the the necessarily limited and subjective knowledge of the officials who are specifically awarded the power to interpret observed actions…

Somewhere, a Florida land developer fondly recalls the time he tortured Mark Brunell’s bank accounts to death.

my uncle just went “get used to this for the rest of your life.” and went to bed. whatever we get bad calls and shit. but all you have to know is that THERE ARE TWO FUCKING PLAYERS COVERING THE FLATS. why? what is going on? who am i.

Live look at ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER:

Seriously. When I first heard about this yesterday, I assumed Kobe was pulling a Mike Schmidt/Ken Griffey Jr. and retiring midseason because he can no longer step on the court without embarrassing himself. Did anyone seriously think there was a chance he would come back next season?

putting aside everything else, this hat looks so weird on his head