A rape survivor was told by the campus police on my campus not to report because she had been drinking and so no one would believe her. We are currently under investigation by the DOE as well. Another girl was just raped this semester at a sorority house and it was hushed up. Even by the sorority sisters because they…

Katz is wonderful.

That's all well and good but when is People going to respond to my write-in campaign for 1970s Elliott Gould?

I'm seriously thinking about inventing a butter dish with locks on it.

I wish I got a video of it but I just caught my cat, Stormageddon the Dark Lord of All, dragging half a stick of butter across the dinning room.

The grays are my home. I have lived here for years.

When I was 14 I went to an alternative school and I had just discovered art, and pot, and Buddhism. If someone had interviewed me I probably would have sounded like this. Except maybe not that smart. And I definitely would have cursed more.

That cat isn't even pissed. You should see how my cat, Stormageddon the Dark Lord of All, feels about magazines. Now, that is pissed.

I've never wanted therapy so bad in my entire life.

Riverdale, eh? Was her name perhaps Betty or Veronica?

I thought everyone had a hot tub room decorated with portraits of themselves. It can't just be me and Colin Powell.

It's a good thing that feminists will stay more relevant than Time Magazine.

I once saw three guys in a hot tub trying to fuck tomatoes. You might be thinking about the logistics of this - let me assure you, it doesn't really work. The tomatoes fell apart and there were tomato bits swirling around and floating to the top of the churning water. To this day I will not go in a hot tub.

The sound of someone eating an apple in a quite room.

I immediately thought: this is probably the most attention CSPAN has ever received. Followed quickly by: fucking racist Republicans.

I really wish when people would write about Artie Lange they would put quotation marks around comedian. Seriously, does anyone think this dude is funny? He is a "comedian."

Not to get all 'feminist killjoy' on everyone but anyone else think it's weird to dress a kid up as a guy who was accused of naughty touching kids?

Am I the only one who has a complete and utterly irrational hatred of Chris Hardwick? He has a stupid smug face and one of those Wolf Blitzer voices where I always think he is yelling at me.

In other completely obvious news: the sky is blue, I am late for work, cats are (awesome) dicks.

This is the reason my cat's water dish lives in the bathtub. She literally warped the linoleum in the last apartment by constantly tipping her water dish over so now: bath tub.