I was a timid little girl. I’m an only child; so I was always happy to be around other kids but painfully shy when I met them for the first time. The first time I went to visit my paternal grandmother, when I was about 6 years old (as she tried to repair her strained relationship with my mom’s side of the family), I…

My therapist sometimes asks me about getting back out there and dating. I’m-a send her this.

Hey, once you’ve excluded a lot of groups at the door, you need to create some sort of oppressive hierarchy inside. That, and then people can bitch about how bad the Irish have it, and further muddy the discussion around institutional racism.

Most people don’t know this, but the statue of Liberty is actually modeled after a girl named Clarissa holding up a bottle of wine after Beethoven dropped his new track in the early 1800's. I’m pretty sure that’s correct.

Oh, they are FAR too south to tolerate the company of the Irish.

So...Charleston, SC has a “whites-only” nightclub to which i say(again) “So?”

Anyone with an apostrophe in his or her name will be charged double.

In East Memphis there are 4 courts literally within a stone’s throw of a police station. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen cops inspecting their equiment for the night AND seeing a guy get hammered going to the basket. This is some straight up bitch shit. 

...and this is just dumb too, because he goes straight to the cops with this. Doesn’t even slow down for the manager or staff or anything!

Holy shit, he’s fucking banned from the sport now right?

He felt “threatened” enough to call the police, but not threatened enough to leave. Right.

The bitchassness that was displayed here—and the NERVE, the UNMITIGATED GALL that led this minus-melanin-mofo to return to the game AFTER dialing 911 is white privilege x’s infinity. He should have been fouled into unconsciousness at that point. Bastard! And the fucking cops should have LOCKED him up! The public…

Well if that’s what they want fine by me. I’m sure there’s plenty of more welcoming and blacker places folks dollars could go to.

I don’t want to be anyplace where I’m not wanted. Fuck Deco, Bubba and Becky can have it. 

Police dispatch needs to collect credit card numbers before sending an officer. “There will be a $300 hold placed on your card. Are you SURE there needs to be police presence?”

I find this amazing.

And in today’s edition of...”Can a motherfucker just”

I’d just like to offer my apology to the stock photo model in the picture for this article.  He didnt ask for any of this.

This one is veering into “I swear it’s not from The Onion!” territory.

Shared from the Onion? No? Damn.