I’ll never not love watching Gordon Ramsay go upside people.

YAAAAAAS ok?

I don’t think it’s right to try to cajole or harangue a non-horror watcher into seeing a scary movie. It seems like a disrespect for their desires. I had assumed this article was geared toward people whose “weenie” (terrible word here) companion has agreed to watch a scary movie and not so much for someone who is…

I love horror films and I’m a decent person. I’m not desensitized to violence, either. There’s a strong limit to what I can stand to view on a screen, and what I can accept in a movie is far, far beyond any level of violence I would be able to stomach in the real world. Seeing someone get a sports injury is enough to…

I have a very low tolerance for hotness (in food) so for me, Frank’s is pretty alright. I also like that Louisiana brand, but I like the flavor of Frank’s better. I’ve tried hotter sauces but it doesn’t take much to produce some real agony. I had some jalapeños on a burger the other day and the following day, I could…

Frank’s Red Hot is my favorite. I didn’t even know it was trash. It’s spicy but not so spicy that I get stomach burn followed by ring of fire.

This is terrible. It happened about 2 miles from my house and I could hear sirens and helicopters until I passed out around 4. What do we need Daesh for when we have loony white guys raining down shots from a hotel room? And 50 people dead? Fifty people. For what? Those poor people and their families. Geez I don’t…

Did someone say gaudy?

In fights, what is the Vaseline for? Is it so blows to the face slide off?

It’s been so many years since I’ve had scrapple. You got me feenin now.

Martha you so vicious. I love it.

Oh shit! I’m gonna be a lion! Let’s all be giant cats! YESSSS!

I tweeted this multiple times over the weekend and I’ll say it again: Puerto Rico is full of Brown People. They won’t do a got-damn thing they can avoid doing to help them. That’s how much those human beings mean to Trump and his ilk. They can damn well die of dysentery before help comes, and honestly I bet this…

Ah, ok. Thank you for clearing that up. :)

What picture do you mean?

How can you tell they are single? I did not guess that at all from that comment.

I didn’t even notice if he looked good or anything on account of squinting my eyes and staring real hard looking for the white guy. If that dude with the haircut is her husband, he is the blackest looking white guy I have ever seen.

Take off and nuke the baby from orbit?

A brick. 1997, Cincinnati, Ohio.  Lorenzo Collins, a man I knew, was shot by police for “threatening them” with a brick. He was mentally ill, and he did some crimes in his day (I believe they were mostly like theft and stuff), but he was always kind to me and people around the neighborhood I lived in. I was gutted…

You’re speaking my language.