Right, because Jezebel has totally deleted the original article. Oh wait, they haven't.

HURR DURR MY NAME IS BIGTOP AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF A JOKE.

OH. MY. GOD. WHY did I read this? I'm 17 weeks along with TWIN BOYS and I am so squicked out!! Stop it, babies! Stop it! Not while you're in the same womb with each other and mommy is RIGHT HERE!!

Step right up to horsenpony's love rehab. To your right you will see a stack of "Roseanne", "Twin Peaks", "Gilmore Girls" and bootleg copies of "Salute Your Shorts" on DVD for your viewing. Hungry? We start you off with the shittiest meals. Pizza, Hot Dogs, Rolo Ice Cream, Double Cheeseburgers and special day trips to…

Jesus Christ. NO

Someone else pointed out that rappers and R&B artists seem to never visit the hospital, while performers from literally all other genres do.

Did your hamster also overturn a democratic election by cooperating in a judicial coup d'etat and then disingenuously wonder, years later, if she'd done the wrong thing?

Jennifer Lopez will play coal.

That's exactly my feelings on this. If they were in a gallery and the artist was trying to convey something meaningful, then I wouldn't have a problem with the portraits. They make me wonder what was going through their minds when they made the choice to commit suicide and they make me want to cry because I've been…

I always wonder about the models who pose for these types of tasteless pictures, and in blackface, or some other culturally/racially insensitive image. I understand wanting a paying job and how difficult it is to get for some models, but come on! Some decency and common sense is to be expected.

I'm curious why you don't think the women have been "trained". They're beauty pageant contestants - assumedly, they're asked difficult questions frequently in the numerous beauty pageants they attend, and they know that as part of this particular pageant, difficult questions will be included. It makes all types of…

Can we all admit that, regardless of his talent, Alec Baldwin is kind of a douche?

You realize they're competing for academic scholarships, right?

Wait, so Jezebel is okay with posting topless photos of 16 year olds? This is a new development. I mean, I'm not saying it's porn or anything like that, but it's certainly a surprising choice. Though I guess when Jezebel's track record with criticizing teenagers' choices maybe it shouldn't be that surprising.

They don't have to be politicians to stay on top of current events and form a coherent opinion. Yes, speaking on stage is hard, but it's what they signed up for.

Presenting a gift of jewelry on top of, buried in, or generally with food makes me sad.

Miss USA is the trashy one, right? I can never remember.

It was "Andy Hard-on" for his movie character Andy Hardy.

I like to think that Tom Hanks signs his tweets like that, in a similar fashion to how my own father signs his text messages—"dad".