"Another major turn-off is the creepy squad pose at the beginning of every match, a tired facsimile of real-word military propaganda."

With surprisingly positive reviews all over the place, this week belongs to Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor. That's right, Super Smash Bros. 3DS, get in line.

"I wish that Nintendo would have added in a mode where stages would be given a flat bottom with a platform arrangement like Smashville or Fountain of Dreams without the stage hazards, instead of just assuming like many others that competitive players hate platforms and only play on Final Destination."

That sounds awesome.

YOU'RE TOO SLOW!

Nice one.

You seem like a cunt.

Sick burn, brah.

Not hundreds, but there are strangers.

Straight from PrimeGuard's most formidable strategic mind (and possible massive brain in a jar with a face drawn on) Matthew Taylor, here are ten invaluable Vault of Glassraid tips:

Why don't you use regular apostrophes?

That GamesRadar article was the written equivalent of sucking a dick.

Not really. Kotaku always does this when a game is really hyped. They sucked The Last of Us' dick for a month straight, if I remember correctly.

That's interesting. My iPhone 4 is becoming insanely slow. I cannot fucking wait to upgrade to a Galaxy 4S in a few days.

Comparing Rock Band to Hitler.

I still sing some songs from time to time. You seem to care a lot about something you claim to not care about.

I think being proud of not participating in a fad is middle school bullshit. It's fine to not partake, but to be proud? Fucking why?

People don't read, silly!

Boohoo. Didn't they make their entire fucking budget back, like, a week ago?

No, you don't. If it takes hours and hours for something to be be fun or enjoyable, you have no obligation to continue. It's supposed to be entertainment. Same goes for TV. If the first episode doesn't interest me, you better believe that I'm done with that show. Life's too short to wait being wait hours for something…