My little boy is just about to turn 2 and I tell everyone I expect him to be a professional Buffalo Bills tailgater because he likes to jump off the couch into a pile of pillows. In about 18 years that couch is going to turn into an RV and that pile of pillows a collapsible table. I know he’s going to be featured one…

When the White Sox won in 2005 the parade ended up right outside my office building and I didn’t have any kids at the time, so it was about as perfect as can be.

You’re an idiot.

Early on while dating my future wife we stopped to pick up some groceries from a little market. I waited in the car while my wife ran in. A couple of minutes later she got into the car without any groceries. I asked what’s up and she said that the clerk was following her from the moment she started shopping.

I’m a white guy with an Ethiopian wife and I go to a lot of parties where I’m the only or one of very few white people in attendance. I was at a 1 year’s old birthday party (our kids are 3.5 and 2 years) and a little boy walked up to me and asked rather pointedly, “Who invited YOU?”

Because there was no major league team in KC at the time.

Because the folks who own the Cosmos name are a bunch of shysters and they do not have enough money to join MLS.

No wonder Republicans drive trucks and are so angry all the time, look at all those "red" states in the bottom 10. Hawaii is weighed down by all the Asians.

Ford looks like a swollen thumb with a face.

If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!

Steak fries with sumac.

Little known fact but "Rocket Frog" was the draft title of Elton John's famous song.

Rudolph Giuliani's first wife was a second cousin.

Conor Gillaspie is the White Sox starting 3rd baseman. He's played 90 of his 93 games in the field at 3rd base, with 3 total innings at 1st base.

It's "bandbox" not "sandbox".

Has Chris Berman claimed Yasiel "Male Chauvinist" Puig yet?

Co-stan-za!

I think it would be cool to be William Zabka. Getting to play a douchebag all the time would be great because everyone would tell you how much nicer you are in real life.

You're really going to bring that prude ass shit to Deadspin? Seriously? Moralizing over a blowjob on Deadspin?

If I had a magic wallet that shit dollar bills I'd buy a house close to my favorite strip bar and make it rain.