Conor Gillaspie is the White Sox starting 3rd baseman. He's played 90 of his 93 games in the field at 3rd base, with 3 total innings at 1st base.

It's "bandbox" not "sandbox".

Has Chris Berman claimed Yasiel "Male Chauvinist" Puig yet?

Co-stan-za!

I think it would be cool to be William Zabka. Getting to play a douchebag all the time would be great because everyone would tell you how much nicer you are in real life.

You're really going to bring that prude ass shit to Deadspin? Seriously? Moralizing over a blowjob on Deadspin?

If I had a magic wallet that shit dollar bills I'd buy a house close to my favorite strip bar and make it rain.

Seriously. Cubs fans are the worst.

Am I the only man who wishes we used bidets in the U.S.? A few years ago I had the flu and terrible diarrhea so I packed some babywipes in a sandwich baggy to take to work to be a little kinder to my raw ass (work toilet paper is worse than Hitler!) and have used them ever since. Now I want more. I want a bidet. …

Piggy in the Middle is used in England. There is an Everything But the Girl (Flipside) song where Tracy Thorne mentions "piggy in the middle".

Is there a worse bathroom offender than the man who builds himself an ass-muffler out of toilet paper and then leaves the ass-muffler behind for the next person to knock into the toilet and flush?

Is there a worse bathroom offender than the man who builds himself an ass-muffler out of toilet paper to protect his fragile fanny and then leaves the ass-muffler behind for the next person to enjoy?

+1

Actually, I think Rogers suffered a concussion during his first match for Leeds and didn't return for the rest of the season.

Gerald Ford was a star linebacker and center for the University of Michigan in the early 1930s and helped his team to two undefeated national titles.

Am I the only person that is immediately suspicious of people who are always telling you how much they love Jesus? It's the easiest con out there.

I was a stay at home dad for 2 years and nothing about the work would be considered "very, very hard". If you do find taking care of a couple of kids and the normal household tasks "very, very hard work" (cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking, occasional home repair, occasional doctor appt, pet care, etc) it's most…

This is why Democrats have given up on the issue. The gun fetish in this country has just got out of hand. There is nothing you can say that will ever convince these people that owning a gun will not make their penis bigger.

Ha! Ha!

A guy in my older brother's class had the same thing happen to his balls in 8th grade.