Dude, my first experience on any track ever was in Commerce. Probably around 2002-2003. They held an open drag event. Show up with anything and race it. Boy, I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

Godwined...

After everything that has happened, and all the negativity surrounding the World Cup, I think it's pretty neat that they let the workers watch a game AND gave them ice cream

It is not possible to discuss Miguel Cotto without discussing his first fight with Antonio Margarito. It was among the bloodiest, ugliest, most exhilarating spectacles in a sport that is all about people choking on their own blood through fevered gasps. It was epic.

The funniest thing about Mark Texeira is his trick wrist.

Much better tackler than his cousin, Lito.

White Sox games in the 1970's were complete insanity. You know how the old 10 Cent Beer Night story gets bounced around and people react like "Holy shit! That's nuts!"? That was 81 days a year on at Old Comiskey on the South Side (minus the riot spilling onto the field, though that did happen notoriously more than a…

Henrik is the kind of guy who exists to rub your face in how much better his life is than yours. He's beautiful, his family is beautiful, he's amazing at his job, his job is amazing, he does charity work, plays a sweet guitar, he owns his own restaurant and more. Ugh, 10/10 would swoon again

That tan might put Henrik over the top, but Patrick Sharp has to be right up there.

what's really fucked up about this bastard is, having worked with him on something—he's really smart, really interesting, and really nice.

What's more impressive is that there is 2 of them. He's an identical twin. Both played in the NHL. That's some good genes.

Dude dumped a princess. A real, honest-to-god Swedish princess. That probably belongs on his HOF plaque.

That look of drunken exhilaration and zero coordination and blind luck is incredibly Midwestern. We all recognize it. My drunk uncle stepped backwards off a deck yesterday, stumbled like he had been shot, and then made the same face as that woman when he didn't spill his beer. It was magical.

I made it through 2 Hawk Harrelson "He Gone" calls and had to shut it off. Sorry, Deadspin, not your fault.

Cultural bat flip meets cultural fat blip.

Puig: [Flips bat, hits Plaschke in the temple]

LEAN BAT

Looks like he's gotten a little pail in the offseason.

A totalizator (or "tote") is the computer that figures out odds and winnings in a parimutuel betting system, like you have at the track or state run OTB shops.