"My 2014 resolution is to find new friends."

I like that the Mob Wives christened their reality show naval style by going upside each others' heads with a bottle of bub at the premier. Tradition!

I'm down

I can't see myself getting tired of/annoyed by Jennifer Lawrence, ever. There's a series of YouTube videos called "Jennifer Lawrence funny moments" that adds up to over 2 hours of Jennifer Lawrence being Jennifer Lawrence in a variety of interviews and I watched ALL OF THEM.

I saw Catching Fire last night. I cried three times. Also, as a heterosexual...I mean this in the most least offensive way....shawty was bad. In one scene I was like...oh my!!!!! Oh and I don't like following actors in movies I adore so, if impending doom awaits her (I won't be watching), just don't let it affect her…

The Orlando Bloom/Liv Tyler rumor cracks me up because the whole LOTR cast has always been extremely cuddly and affectionate and open about how they're all great platonic friends. There are a million pictures of Orlando and Viggo/Elijah/etc. all being way more touchy-feely than the reports of him 'eye-gazing' and…

Yep. Pantalettes, cholera, and you could NOT get Beethoven to SHUT UP. It was like having a deaf Eminem whose idea of flow was bellowing the Book of Psalms auf Deutsch in between lines of meth.

I'm certainly not a historian of clothing, but I've got a guess as to "Why bother?":

They sound so comfy...

"Yes. So beautiful..."

Ugh. I would date him. Ughhh.

The "forced" in the headline makes it sound like the rescuers forced her, which is not the case.

As a professional on the go, I need to jerk off during my commute while drinking my latte and listening to my iPad read the Wall Street Journal.

The only source that has it is TMZ. We're watching it tho.

Dude, totally. I'll take a shot for you right now!

It's definitely a "guacamole for dinner" kind of Saturday. Throw in some stupid TV and a couple screwdrivers and I'll forget all about those papers I have to write tomorrow. I'm keeping one eye on the Stanford-Notre Dame game...eh.

Hey all you lovely lesbian shitasses. <3 I can't get into free-verse poetry. I try and I try and at best I can appreciate it as pretty prose chopped up pretentiously. Unfortunately, it seems form poetry is for olds and never gets published anymore. Am I the only one left who appreciates a nice rhyme and meter? Do you…

I need advice on housing.

Edit: THANK YOU BURT FOR REMINDING ME IT'S SATURDAY BECAUSE I LEGIT FORGOT. YOU ARE LEGIT.