Tiger’s inner monologue:

They also considered instituting a ban on hitting women, but they didn't want to go overboard.

He would have given the Clippers an “A” if he had played for North Carolina.

Glad to see the guy finally caught a break.

Cosby immediately given honorary degree by Florida State

Carmelo went 17-65 last year.

hey that’s one more title than Carmello...

Sex might be the only thing he does anymore that’s below par.

Scioscia: Hey, maybe I can come up to your air-conditioned, spreadsheet-lined office and tell you not to sign a junkie for 5 years, $125 million.

Not to mention an amphibious rodent within city...that ain’t legal either Dude.

Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mudiays.

Their first error was having Joe Buck and Greg Norman anchor it.

The Cavs performed at an historically poor offensive efficiency ostensibly ceding to LeBron in the finals (admittedly, small sample size and against a great team). Moreover, Lebron, by all indications, seems to think this is the proper way to play and would prefer this style. Why should I trust a player to “coach” a…

And what if that running back had been at the center of the biggest scandals to strike the NFL in years

I withhold judgement until I find out the nicknames of his friends.

It continues to amaze me that there are people who follow professional sports and don’t seem to understand that these athletes can’t do what they are doing without the help of pharmaceuticals. I’m not even imparting a moral judgement on the athletes...I don’t care about drug “cheating.” I’m just amazed so many writers…

Statler: Hey, this list wasn’t half-bad!

Statler: Well that was different!

“Everett, Mass., a lovable if not quite lovely suburb”

Or, more simply, a shithole...