Good job with this site. It used to be a lot of fun. AJ turned it nasty, but still fun and sometimes news-breaking. Now its staffed by a bunch of hipsters with liberal arts degrees from places like Sarah Lawrence (I imagine), who think their journalistic mission is to achieve budgetary and media coverage equity for…

One of the charms of this site used to be that it didn’t take itself too seriously. It was absurd, sports are absurd, fans are absurd. What happened?

Yes, tape over the Patriots logos on your golf shirts while spying on your competitors, I’m sure that’s the way to handle it. Alternatively, you could choose clothes that entirely omit mention of the Patriots. Either way is good.

One more than you’ve got.

Whatever. Nobody gives a good goddamn who you guys think is the No. 1 college team. You guys are a bunch of goddamn nerds.

Interesting that the NFL cited the suspension to the Browns general manager as precedent for Brady’s four-game suspension. The punishment seemed oddly severe at the time. Four games for the GM sending text messages to the bench? But now it seems like the NFL might have been using that suspension to provide itself a…

Thought policin’ is tricky business.

Words are cheap instagram intern, go out there and earn it!

In addition to whatever this post is talking about, Deadspin originally presented the conflicting status of RGIII’s concussion as the team trying (callously of course) to downplay RGIII’s possible concussion. Reporters were mocked as water carriers for reporting, accurately it appears, that there was no concussion,…

Seriously. Can we stop with the Muslim extremist bashing? They may be anarchic, brutal mass rapists and murderers but they are not Nazis. To begin with, they have different haircuts.

Or else conspired with Jeter’s mother to have him committed to an insane asylum.

I get it. Usually people draft good players first, but you draft bad ones. Classic.

Yes, a secure border and a path to citizenship, clearly the deranged thoughts of a madman. Stick to drawing up plays Harbaugh, our government has got this!

Here’s a technique that has worked well for me as far as conversing with women: (1) tune in every 30 seconds or so to your significant other’s litany of grievances about work, family, friends, etc...; (2) tease out a specific gripe from the never ending torrent of complaints; (3) repeat this gripe verbatim but in an…

Best way to learn to drive stick: park facing front in a driveway or incline with the parking brake on, clutch all the way in, no gas; let the brake out until you start to roll backwards; let the clutch out (release it like you’re stepping off of the gas or brake) until it catches and prevents you from rolling back;…

Of the players who wear girdles, he is among the toughest.

Semangeloph is actually a pit fighter.

No Sega hockey? Madness.

I just ran a regression analysis that showed that Gary Kubiak wasn’t the Broncos coach last year. But I suppose Denver fans may have been frustrated by Kubiak’s playcalling in Baltimore. Regardless of who was coaching where, the point of this story remains: Deadspin writers like analytics and therefore are smart.

Dibs on “the colonel is coming after you” for use in creepy text flirtations.