I wrote a letter to Socks and I got a “signed” photo from him saying he was honored to be my First Cat. My mom totally framed it.

what no five year olds are just incompetant blobs they can’t write letters or have feelings.

y’all need to meet my 3 year old niece, who declared she wanted to get her own job so she could buy who own diamonds, thank you very much.

#independantbabies

This is precisely how I wrote a letter to Chelsea Clinton when I was five asking her to come over to my house for grilled cheese sandwiches.

If you are already cutting out a lot of traditions (and the associated costs they incur), maybe you can let the one thing she wants (a bridal dress) slide? You both still want it to be memorable and fun, right? I agree with IndianJoan that you don’t want her to have any resentment or regret.

I made mine from a simple pattern (with some alterations by a professional once I had the bulk of it done). It was pretty basic, the top never *quite* fit right (and had to be safety-pinned to my bra) but total cost me about $200 for fabric and $400 for alterations.

You can get plenty of beautiful wedding dresses for less than $1,000. If she wants a wedding dress, you can support her by finding stores she can peruse that have cheaper or discount options. David’s Bridal actually has a lot of wedding dresses for less than $500, and even has $99 sales sometimes. If you push her into…

I got engaged last week and am pretty sure I’ll have the same mini-crisis with whatever dress I end up with. I did it with multiple prom dresses in high school. I think it’s pretty common - you love it, and then the more time you spend thinking about and seeing it, the more flaws you find/imagine.

You should take the same approach as Say Yes to the Dress’s companion show, Say Fine to the Shirt:

How do people like the guy from the Burrito Bell story manage to put pants on each day?

“What’s the most Canadian thing you have?”

Clearly, they wanted exotic food that day.

Judging by my lack of an arrest record, not drunk enough.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

Is that the restaurant equivalent of the “if there’s no price tag it must be free haha” joke?

I worked at McDonalds long ago... I had several customers who would conclude their drive-thru orders with “that’s to go” — like they would if they were inside. It’s kinda irritating, because — am I going to expect them to eat it in the drive-thru lane or something...

One day, I’d kind of had it — I hear the “that’s to…

I always used to respond to those requests with, “if I had access to a stack of hundreds/pound of fifties/winning lottery tickets, I can promise you I wouldn’t be here waiting tables.”

I was way more of a smart-ass when I worked in a bookstore, since my manager was always job hunting and couldn’t have cared less. During the height of the “Twilight” craze, right when the last book and the first movie had been released, we were sent a metric ton of merch, including those SweetHearts chalk-flavored…

I remember when I was working retail at an upscale mens clothing store in University and this guy came in and told someone that Dave Olson, the store manager, said he’d hook him up and give him 20% off some expensive designer jeans. Unfortunately, the person he happened to tell this to was Dave Olson, who’d never seen…

This weekend I had my four-billionth customer respond to “Can I get you anything else?” with “Yeah, a stack of hundreds, har har har.” I’d just had two miserable shifts in a row, the highlight of which was the homeless drunk who came in and vomited blood all over the floor. I replied “I don’t have any hundreds back…

I feel like every “Friend of the owner” should get smacked down hard as often as necessary. If you were truly a friend of the owner you wouldn't be trying to exploit that fact to cage free food and drink.

We’ve all been there. Mine was the one time I was shelving books at the library, wearing my work badge and (a rarity) a t-shirt with the library’s logo on it. A patron came up and asked “Do you work here?” Given that I was having a bad day and it was about the five hundredth time I had heard that question, I just sort…