When I was a toddler, every time my mom took me to the grocery store and we went by the produce aisle I would demand to eat a plum. So she’d just let me eat it and then when we get to the cash register she’d hold up the pit and say “uh, and she ate a plum.” I guess she was modelling honesty and good citizenship for me…

I used to run a big retail store with a zero tolerance shoplifting policy. Had to call police every time. Funny how many wealthy people were arrested or ticketed. The prosecutor told me to let her know who was a pain in the ass so she could get them max penalties. The wealthy white ladies all got fined, took…

I run a boutique and this happens ALL. THE. TIME. I’m small business, I can’t afford to give you free shit. Sure, if you spend a lot, Imight give you a discount, make you a “VIP” let you know about sales earlier, new merchandise, fuck I’ll special order things for you and only make you pay wholesale! Do not ever think…

It just sucks that if you’re rich, you get stuff for free, but those same people will argue against giving help to those who need it because they might “become entitled.” WTF.

I can see how they feel entitled, at the jewellery store I work at, at least once a day when we have some spend more than a 3-400 hundred dollars, people will “jokingly” ask... so, what do I get for spending so much money... ? hahahaha.

Waking up every morning.

Livestrong SmileyEyes up there is a stock photo. Here’s Yoga McBrosef IRL

When he was arrested, Gilbert reportedly ate two slices of pizza, an Egg McMuffin, an apple and a sandwich, and bragged to cops that he maintained his figure with “a lot of diet and exercise.”

so i was talking to my gf about this stain on my passenger seat in my car that was from spilled protein drink

she said that one time she saw it and freaked out thinking she had bled through her skirt and stained my seat, then when we got home, ran to the bathroom to check, but nothing was there

but she still thought it…

i mean i’ve seen published, non-pixelated photos of marath0n runners with literal shit running down their legs

This is peak “article about nothing pretending to be an article about cheating.” If you and your partner(s) agree that you can sex other people, it’s not cheating, as marriages take many forms, some of which do not include monogamy.

So ethical cheating isn’t cheating? So why call it cheating?

Wait, waitwaitwait, hold the fucking phone... “Try” waffles? As in you’re a waffle virgin too?

I think it’s become much less of a taboo and more of a guideline. The best advice I’ve read is just to think about who you’d be comfortable sharing the news of a miscarriage with and then limit sharing of the pregnancy news before 12 weeks or so to those people. I’m a private person so I pretty much told my mom right…

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

I was able to tilt the tray back up to keep them all from spilling, but at least two of them went overboard and landed directly in the nearest guest’s lap.

Jesus Christ, Peanut Lady, your kid has an allergy serious enough for you to be toting an epipen around, how the fuck do you “forget’ his allergy? That poor kid.

I dunno why but I envisioned Cat Baker delivering that epi-pen a la Vincent Vegas to Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction with Dick Dale's Miserlou in the background.

Except for the last two, I feel a little...underwhelmed this week.