You're Gizmodo now, you're not allowed to believe in coincidences anymore.

Come on, are you going to call out Jon Heyman without noting that you made a similar comment yourself in an earlier post?

Oh, my god! How did you get my social security number? Do you also have my birthday of May 18, 1979? Or my mother's maiden name of Stevenson? As the author notes, identity theft is a serious issue. Please take down this comment immediately!!!

Were there any stunts you determined were too dangerous to try? (or were told by producers not to attempt?)

This is what some one with the mindset of Bill James would do.

"but instead got entire narratives, pouring personality and anecdotes into what are otherwise just buildings."

"These guys deliberately make a mess for the express purpose of never being asked to do whatever it is again."

I am concerned that the author (and apparently the rest of the Deadspin office) is too young to remember Forrest Gump as anything more than a movie about a guy that "went jogging and got really shaggy".

This just raises the question of why you are checking in at mundane places "that are otherwise just boring" in the first place...

"And if your conclusion is that women are people..."

You say you've always got customers lined up for what you jack. How do you find your "customers"? I mean, I assume you don't advertise "Bike Stealing Services"...