This show has amassed all of the best bitches in Hollywood and they just keep outdoing themselves. Brava. Now they just need to get Meryl Streep for an episode and my life will be complete.

I feel like a yeast infection is inevitable, what with that leotard yanked so high up her vaginal region. Also, dibs on my new band's name: Inevitable Yeast Infection.

That leotard is making my vulva hurt.

Let it sit. Stew is always better the next day.

He's probably not my kid anyway, who doesn't like apples?

I mean, it's basically just cobbler with a crunchier topping. You could use blackberries or raspberries or pears or cherries or whatever. But, use apples. Giving a damn about what foods your kid likes and dislikes is friggin' ridiculous.

Are there other fruit that can be "crumbledized" so successfully, or do apples stand alone in sheer awesomeness? I only ask because I may have a child that hates apples...then again I may have a wife who is just coddling him.

That's just... A super excellent excuse to never tell your doctor anything that may be held against you. I can't see how this could possibly go wrong...

That's a pie full of coagulated blood.

A note on mincemeat. It's really more like a tie with being hit by a car. Would you step away from a slice of mincemeat pie expressly for the purpose of being bit by a car, as you would with pecan pie? No, probably not. On the other hand, you wouldn't step out of the way of a moving car for a slice of mincemeat pie,…

Jesus, Mississippi thinks these guys should tone it down.

Every time I see pictures of Fieri I briefly think "man that guy from Sugar Ray really let himself go"

HEY YOU GOT IT WRONG! I OBJECT AND AM OFFENDED.

Actually, yes, it's classist. At least you own it. Now have fun eating your veggies and hope the underpaid Mexican day-worker that picked them didn't have hepatitis when they had to take a squat in the field because providing bathroom facilities isn't cost effective.

Fuck outta here with that Canuck shit.

Diet soda is fucking disgusting. I hate you personally for advocating for it.

Men don't cut their booze. Drink it straight.

That's hippie shit. Roast in hell.

And eventually, a few hours later, #2 too!