My family’s golden retriever when I was a kid systematically ate an entire set of wood patio furniture. Chairs, lounges, a table. He ate the bark off a pear tree and killed it. He used to shit out socks. He was hardcore.

It is! Too many, most likely!

They said he would sit in the box. He had other plans.

Watching this video gives me the exact same feeling as watching my four-year-old do anything that requires basic fine motor skills.

Easy. Your country is full of terrified, racist, sexist assholes.

-Joseph Goebbels

I’m kind of curious if “well I didn’t know I was doing something wrong” is actually a defense that holds up to legal scrutiny with other crimes. Like if I could say convincingly enough that I was too drunk to remember that I didn’t actually pay for $50 worth of stuff at the store, could I actually not be prosecuted…

“She said that the office declined to prosecute because her attacker was “drunk and they ‘can’t prove’ he knew I wasn’t consenting.””

It’s puzzling to me how many people are acting like this is new information. Or like Hilary Clinton is somehow more responsible for Bill Clinton’s behavior than Bill Clinton is.

A lot of people on Jezebel love to criticize me for not being an avid Hillary supporter. I will vote for her because she isn't Trump, that doesn't mean she was my first choice. But the reason I don't trust her is that she always seemed willing to let other women's lives be destroyed by her husband so she could advance…

I want to grab Taylor by the shoulders and MAKE HER STAND STRAIGHT.

“I’m a Christian, a conservative and a Republican, in that order,”

Can’t wait til she wins a GRAMMY for it.

Woman writes hit song. Declines to take credit for it until conspiracy theories/obvious logic leads fans/tabloids to the story. Confirms it in one very straightforward sentence because she feels no obligation to protect the fiction she and her ex-boyfriend spun about it. Deserves credit. Did write song.

Heart of Darkness: needs more white ladies 2/10 would not read again

In tribute to Ms. Linton, I am also announcing my new memoir, recounting the time I sailed up the Congo River to search for a mysterious ivory trader named Kurtz.

Zambillion Little Pieces.