remember when the blonde one got drunk and cheated on her fiancee with a super hot italian guy

It literally calls him “shitty” for being a white person who raps.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

He could like, eye fuck two people at once. An eye fucking orgy.

What, and not eat pizza? What kind of monster are you!?

It’s rude to tell me how to eat my pizza.

Fuck it, I don’t want a mouth full of grease/oil. That’s why I blot that bad boy, not because I want to delude myself into beleiving I’m some how saving myself calories.

@fart is blowing up

Sculpt a little foam helmet and go to work. I’m laughing out loud haha.

Right, like You Make Me Feel So Young or Like a Virgin.

Is it bad that I’m like this on just alcohol?

Um, not that I like this broad, but the song is a figure of speech. To be specific, it’s a simile. She’s talking about the actions and behaviors of young obsessive love. Not pretending to be an actual teenager. I mean, the dudes from Wheatus weren’t actually pretending to be “Teenage Dirtbags”. Like....

SOUNDS LIKE SHE KISSED A GIRL AND DIDN’T LIKE IT

that song was 10 years ago girl, I mean 10 years ago Amy Schumer and Louis CK did way more horrible shit, and you still love them, so i don’t know why you give them a pass and not Katy Perry? Also name me some more of your favorite people, because i bet i could find something they did in the last 10 years that you…

Sorry :(

No, he’s a man.

I find her talking less annoying than her singing. That baby voice. Trying so hard. It’s like the audial equivalent to Renee Zellweger’s face.