The jokes are funny and all, but I just feel really compelled to point out how terribly sad this is. Lamar is only 36 and appears to have a long, tough recovery, and he will never be the same. Hate to be that girl, but this is just so tragic.

Having done a lot of neuropsych testing of stroke survivors, I was a little wary when it was reported that he was saying, “hey, babe” to Khloe and winking at her. I had hoped he was exceptionally resilient.

I used to date a girl who was functionally deaf without her hearing aid, and she once admitted to me that she just turned the thing off around people she didn’t like.

Honestly, if I had an injury that could reasonably lead to some amnesia, I’ll consider using it as an opportunity to at least act like I no longer know certain people, even if I still did.

They showed him a picture of all the Kardashians, told him Khloe is the one that belongs to him, and now he conveniently can’t remember anything?

I remarked to my girlfriend after she heard about this story that “if I ever get that kind of brain damage from anything, please, pull the plug. I don’t want to survive that.”

To which she said “if I found out you got brain damage after a night in a whorehouse, I’d gladly pull the plug.”

This was absolutely fascinating.

It sounds like the only blood test ever done suggests her father was Richard, despite timing and other factors pointing to Norbert. Without anything concrete, you’d have to say it’s a half-sibling situation, despite what Norbert and others thought and believed.

What a weird biography of a man I had no interest in learning about, but greatly fascinated me when reading about him. Really good long read Shaun and totally unexpected from Deadspin. You briefly mention Oscar Bonavena. He’s someone who also had an interesting life that would make a great long read.

I didnt chastise anyone

Ah yes, the other category. People who made high school hell. Nice to see you again.

Well, the Empathy Award goes to...

Thus the triangle became a square.

The old 1950’s white picket fence Archie died. And yes people care about Archie.

The Grimm version, Allerleirauh, is even more fucked up. It starts out the same, but she puts her father off by asking for three different dresses, and then a mantle made from fur of every kind of animal in the kingdom, thinking that each of these will be unachievable. When he presents the mantle to her, she takes it…

The Snow White bit is especially nasty as they're forcing her to dance at Snow White/Prince Charming's wedding. Nothing brightens up a wedding like a good bit of torture/murder!

The boobs in the image should be added to the list of grotesque things added by modern fairy tales.

But you failed to answer the most important question in this fairy tale. Does she start shitting gold for the prince and does that turn into a fetish for him?

I distinctly remember those versions of "Little Mermaid," "Rapunzel," and "Cinderella." Today I was introduced to "Donkeyskin." That one is effed up as well. A king has many prized possessions including a donkey that poos gold. His wife dies and makes him promise that he will only remarry someone as lovely as she…

Ah, the lost plot point wherein the prince must battle domain squatters on the internet. Thanks!