Monkeys should be with other monkeys. Not taking trips to fucking IKEA in shearling coats made for little boys,

Ugh, I hate how headdresses became "fashion" for douchebag college kids.

That picture always gets to me. I think it's the forlorn look on his face.

I've read multiple (anonymous) posts online saying he is incredibly rough and abusive in sex- girls (young!) who were fans of his band and hooked up with him at concerts. They don't call it rape, but say that he didn't care if they said it hurt or told him to ease up. I know there's no means of "proving" it- and how…

Lupita is so much smarter than to fall for his schtick

He's like Jordan Catalano meets Daniel Tosh. But with the beautiful hair of a sea-witch-cursed mermaid and the fashion sense of a young, French Allman brother.

One of my friends played in a semi-famous band after college and encountered him on tour. He pursued her heavily for a few weeks, they hooked up once and then he abruptly dumped her. After that he drunk-dialed her a few times (apparently he's straight-edge now? he certainly didn't sound very sober) and she played me a…

Good point. Even then, however, that Gwen Stefani baby name made me think of Zowie Bowie, who'd officially changed his name to Duncan Jones by the time he was 18. He's in his early 40s now and is a fairly successful film director.

Whenever I read that about SJP I keep thinking it's her way of saying 'I have bunions now,' because having bunions sounds bad, but growing a bone in your foot sounds like you took one for the team. I've never heard of someone growing an entirely new bone in their foot by wearing stilettos - that's some heavy evolution…

Yeah, for some reason I don't think this is going to be a problem for the son of rich rock stars.

I think he's Captain of the USS Douchetastic, which is currently docked in Creepville. He's been hitting on many of the ladies at awards show red carpets. Skeevy, for sure. Lupita is so much smarter than to fall for his schtick.

It is also not normal to take a newborn to the beach.

If the baby sucks while the plane takes off (either from a bottle or breastfeeding), then it isn't really a problem. The main problem is the enormous amount of germs and the teeny underdeveloped immune system.

Jared Leto is obviously gorgeous, and he is very talented (as an actor, that is) but he kind of gives me the douche vibe. This interview and all that time he seems to spend with Mayor of Creepville Terry Richardson got me thinking about it, is it just me?

Do you think JFK and RFK... like...accidentally rubbed balls? That had to be weird.

Did the angry mob finally run Doug out of town?

1. Celebrities who take the "ohhmygawsh are you taking my photo? I wasn't even looking!" stance...please go die quietly somewhere away from me.

I don't understand what a "quicherobbery" is. In other news, apparently I am now ONE MILLION earth-years old?

Who has more fun than Questlove?

Dodai, you should consider following other celebs on Instagram. That, or please explain to me what an Ashley Benson is and what makes her interesting. (I'm teasing, great selection, but no, really, what do you find interesting about Ashley Benson?)