"A Bears fan then tackled Kohnke" and was immediately considered the best defensive prospect in the stadium that night.

Know what's even cooler? Rushing to the comments section to find people joking, just to criticize them.

I'm confident he'll be a worldbeater.

Let me get this straight, some kind-hearted Jaguars fan went out of his way to make sure that this couple didn't have to spend a weekend in Jacksonville and somehow he's the bad guy?

It didn't.

Can't believe that sounded funny in your head.

This is the best thing I've ever read. Doesn't even have a joke in it and it's gotta be a contender for comment of the year.

#HotBearTakes

I vividly remember reading an account in Field and Stream (I think) of someone who inadvertently built his hunting cabin over a wolverine's den. The hunter returned to his freshly completed and stocked cabin to find a large hole in the cabin's wooden floor, and the place generally trashed. So, in his infinite…

I went to San Diego zoo recently & was being eye fucked by the dominant male. There were 80 people checking out the exhibit & this dude is just chillin in the back. gansta leanin against his fake cave opening. That fucker tracked me as I walked from one end of the paddock to the other. Did he move a muscle? Turn…

Samer tried to convince me that the bend of his leg was normal but I didn't buy it either. Dude's leg is all kinds of fucked up.

Coke is the worst. Do you call any candy bar a Snickers? A fast food burger a Big Mac? A condom a Trojan? A tissue a Kleenex... er... well... I guess that blows my argument out of the nostril.

Did someone get caught up in the fake tweet going around saying Hoke is staying?

Tim, you really missed a chance to sync this to a Josh Grobin song.

Keith Law just got suspended another three days.

A thousand stars!

I think we have evidence of that already. It was done from about 800BC through 400AD and gave us what we call the Bible.

Her dignity.

God bless you, Tom! One of the best albums of the year, thus far.