I'm inviting you to be less of a dweeb.

You come across like a real fun person to talk with at parties.

Fuck scumbag lawyer Mike Florio. Anything anyone can do to antagonize that prick gets my vote.

Was it a chandelier or was it recessed lighting?

Haha no. Just no. I'm not here to try and say Cubs fans are classy or anything. But there's no way Cubs fans make Jets fans look classy. Nope.

definitelynotfunnyeither

Maybe you could teach your team a little something about defending, I don't know, say...within a minute of the match starting?

If I were the male equivalent of Cleveland I would be stoked about landing any piece of ass. Beggers can't be choosers.

Fellow Detroiter here: If my girlfriend was waaaaay out of my league, and I hadn't gotten laid once in the four years she was off banging other guys, yeah, I might take her back.

What's wrong with becoming Miami Heat North?

No. No, you wouldn't.

More coming soon on this, obviously.

No, Mo did not say this. Deadspin has engaged in the type of click-bait that they used to condemn. See how they covered their asses, technically, by using a question mark? Not at all misleading! This is seriously shit.

Does putting a question mark at the end of the headline and semi-dismissing it as probably fake justify throwing the spotlight on a fake-as-shit story written by a teenager?

Which Deadspin would crucify ESPN for doing

Hey look, Deadspin posting something fake, shock.

Rich people cant park.

You know who else can be really judgmental?

[gets tattoo to express self to outside world]

[gets upset at outside world for listening]

At least he shot the guy the right way.