I just flew back from Chicago after not being there for a couple years.

+1

Ever live with an OCD woman?

Who the fuck would actually buy this?

Awww...but is it just me or does my CEO have waaaaayyyyyyyy better carpet?

"those who have the means help their neighbors rather than sanctimoniously sniffing "actions have consequences" and letting fellow human being struggle and starve?"

Now that is Drunken History at it's fucking finest.

"One heart attack and you quit? Pussy."

Oh yeah. It's white mob violence against an uppity black man.

I don't see how he had a prayer to begin with unless everyone else who witnessed the shooting says that he was just standing there and even then it makes him an accomplice to murder.

Maybe they could have just changed the spelling?

You just cured my "case of the Mondays!"

I think maybe that was a nice thing? She appeared to be doing well and embracing the process and Ben maybe wanted to offer her something to strive for after she finished? That, or he has a film that needs publicity or wants to show everyone what an awesome director he is that he can control "La Lohan"

This picture has convinced me that he has to have a tiny lil' Justin hanging there. Skinny legs, skinny frame, no way he has the goods. I still think he's Miley Cyrus some days. They do share a hair-cut.

I'm a huge fan of shaved. I keep mine well-groomed so I kind of expect others to do the same.

I'm going to start this, read away if you want.

I feel like there's a "English-racism-and-American slavery" joke to be made here.

My first thought. If a dude had to have a wand shoved up his ass every time he wanted a medical procedure done....I think we'd have changed a few laws by now.

Also...there's a lot of forms of sex besides just P-in-V. How about we replace losing virginity (which, for most of us was probably weird, uncomfortable, painful, quick, drunk, and forgettable)....with the first time you have amazing sex and realize how awesome it can be with someone you love, a random stranger, the…

Nicely done! I'm a dick so I used to just quit returning calls and texts but I love your lasagna angle. Well-played.