Kevin Smith getting stuck in an airplane seat.

What are some of your most memorable roads not taken, either in terms of directing Deadspin or the choices you made in your writing career?

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Were you hiding in a public access channel or something?

I’m not terribly piqued by Purity. Whether too self-serious or not, I tend to view reading (or movies or music or whatever) as spending your time in the company of another person’s thoughts. I never really smoked, but I remember enjoying Franzen’s meditations on cigarettes in How to Be Alone. There was an offhand…

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Yeah yeah, tough guy. Easy for you to criticize them when they can’t even read it.

Everybody hates this album. Everybody can go fuck right the hell off and die.

Made my day.

Sarah Palin On Donald Trump:

This is egregious and unwarranted. I can state unequivocally that Curtis Wenis is *not* Sarah Palin.

“I’m searching for a word here,” he said. “It’s unbelievable. It’s incomprehensible.”

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Baths are the worst. I always have to re-rinse after I crank one out in the tub. Can’t imagine how a woman would deal with her semen, being all lady-semen and such, smdh

Simple, Barry. Just let it play enough games and eventually something will accidentally remove the Preseason’s testicles.

Mourners interested in the wake have been asked to go to The Screw England Mate-riot, Brady’s yacht in Boston Harbor.

“About 9 million for what, fifteen, twenty bucks worth of food? Sounds pretty good.”

This guy needs to make like a tree and get Dutch Elm disease.

Ease off, Samer. The NFL is acting in Aboushi’s best interests—their hope is this prevents him from Odaying.

Moron. +1