@David Hume: "I'll charge into the stands like this until I kill somebody," Artest said Sunday, "then the NBA will change it."

I will end you Mel Kiper Jr.!

@TheHonorableCockJowles: Jason Whitlock wants none of your logic or sensemaking. Unless it's slathered in BBQ sauce and comes with a side of baked beans...in which case he'll take two orders.

@Brazil Thrill: If there are cookies involved in any way I'm guessing that Whitlock will fare pretty well.

"I'll be the judge on racial apologies", huh? Good for you Jason, now you're right up there with Jesse "The Voice of the People" Jackson and Rev. Al "The Mouthpiece" Sharpton.

@savedbypurplejesus: Bastard!

Trying to stop your car like Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble is not recommended*.

@Chris Hanson's Axe And Chris Hansen's Ask: Now say that in the voice of The Count from Sesame Street...

Dee Mirich must be on the verge of a total psychotic breakdown...

@formerly Chief Wahoo: He was already Vice President...using the alias Dick Cheney.

When OJ gets parole I'm sure he'll rush right down to Tampa to assist with the manhunt.

Some Century 21 agent is looking for his stolen jacket...

He's just trying Lattimer's "I'll put clean urine in my own bladder" routine...of course BableFish fucked up the translation and Cherepanov is now injecting clean urine into his arm.

Because Al Davis is certifiable?

Why is there air?

Charlie Weis finally has a replacement for his muumuu.

I'm pretty sure we'll being talking about riots in SEC country when these hit the shelves.

@I_Like_Rabbits: Oh, that's gotta hurt...badly.

The ghost of Matt Millen strikes!

@The Scott Mitchell Report: I'm usually not all that wowed by her (I know...I'm weird). But today she's got it going on.