@The Devil and Daniel Murphy: Since he's the guy holding his gun and you're the guy with it tucked carelessly into your sweatpants.

I can't wait to hear what happens when he tells Shockner "Fuck You".

What did Spongebob Squarepants know and when did he know it?

They're apparently bending space-time in an attempt to find a place where anyone gives a shit about women's basketball.

@spinachdip: Give this man a second star!

@savedbypurplejesus: Mr. Randolph was witnessed swerving unadvisably back and forth beyond the foul line, momentarily losing control of the ball, and finally regaining control to miss the dunk completely.

He wasn't actually drunk...just in insulin shock from the diabetus.

Maybe he can share a cell with Donte Stallworth.

If they took his tie they did him a favor.

Meanwhile, insurers are on the lookout for the professional arsonists who've descended on downtown Detroit...and auto industry execs are watching for professional customers. Though they are ready to conduct open tryouts for amateurs.

One of the assailants has been identified as Eli Manning.

@Weed Against Speed: And we have a winner!

I didn't realize that Jason Biggs was a Spartans fan.

Then again we could all just wait around for gas to hit $4/gallon again and Lucas Oil would be back in the black.

During AIG day at the ballpark the Nation Guard helicopter will be dropping $23 million in large bills...

@CoolHwhip: For fuck's sake man, don't forget OJ and Rae.

You'd really think that someone would sack up and knock her dumb ass backwards down the escalator.

Goddamn scallywags and carpetbaggers...

It's too bad Neil had to put Trejo down like that.

@Andy Reid's Children: For a brief period of time Billy Mays was shilling for health insurance. For the life of me I can't understand how anyone would buy medical coverage from Billy Mays...