Ehh, I got something better.

“Holler for a dollar? Something strange for some change? Something funny for some money?”

Since Florida has shown how suck-cessful a scheme like this can be!

Oooh, a Daffodil!

How was your driving test?

I would be the brokest, most oversexed driving instructor on the planet.

In other news: Dutch researchers have concluded that yes, indeed, blondes do have much more fun.

I have a feeling the back seats will be used more than the fronts for most lessons...

Hopefully his name won’t be Buck, because I’d rather not be fucked.

Putting the “pro” in “quid pro quo.”

His instructor is a dark brutish fellow going by the name of Ted. He will be the driving instructor.

We’re going to need a review, Jason.

Edit: Sorry, TLDR: users want no barriers to doing anything, which is exactly what bad guys want. And your barriers are written by bored, shitty, enterprise programmers who are not nearly as clever or motivated as the bad guys.

Yeah, like, what even? If my neighbor came over and was like “Hey, I have cancer. Also, I’ve never liked your dog, so can you put him down for me?” I’d be like “Your struggle with cancer will be very brief before succumbing to something else.”

My girlfriend Heidi Klum and I always feel bad when kids have to make up stories to make themselves seem more popular.

Don’t feel too bad. I hear there’s a major US political party that tells a variation on that same basic lie all the time now.

My friend’s dad used to grow weed next to his tomato plants, and one of the first times he smelled weed somewhere else, he went, “It smells like my dad’s tomato plants!”

My dad told me that cows have shorter legs on one side than the other, so that they can stand on hills and not fall down. He also told me that the leaves he was smoking were “Turkish Tobacco.”

There’s no official word on whether or not IF Industries is even legally allowed to sell these flasks

Thought I’ve seen this somewhere before.