Or the femoral, in my case. Ouch.

That’s not actually true. The only rule is that you have to use your U.S. passport to enter the United States, and you are considered a U.S. citizen while you’re in U.S. territory. Beyond that, travel on whatever passport you want. I’ve encountered Americans traveling on their second (or even third) passport all over…

And while that may cause people to avoid our group, I have no particular knowledge of it....

Yes, and that’s my entire reason for saying something: using this language, which I think a lot of people employ specifically because they hear it used in spaces they perceive as progressive and thus assume that it’s the best or most “woke” terminology, brings with it some really loaded implications that…

This is a pretty good example of why I would assume that such a group isn’t for me (and why I know a lot of masculine, LGBT women who operate under the same assumption after being burned by this a few times). Variously, I see “femme” used to describe:

If you’re not LGBT yourself, then with all due respect, I don’t think you have the background knowledge to assess whether or not I’m taking too much issue with the wording. The use of “femme” as a way to exclude gender nonconforming women, particularly lesbians, from LGBT spaces is a specific, relatively recent bit of…

So you chose a label that actively excludes gender nonconforming women, a group that’s already heavily marginalized in society? And are co-opting a specific, lesbian identity with a long history to do it? I mean, great that one LGBT person cosigned the appropriation of this term to apply to literally any woman,…

Our group, in particular, focuses on people who identify as femme — so cis-gendered women, trans women, and anyone who identifies as femme.

All-femme triathlon groups are safe spaces.

Yeah, I had the same reaction. I don’t know where the author’s been in the last ten or fifteen years, but kids were still playing “smear the queer” in my hometown (in a relatively liberal part of the northeast) not at all long ago, and certainly later than 1991. I know a ton of LGBT people who detest being referred to…

We had a long conversation about it as a family, but ultimately decided against it for the sake of our own emotional wellbeing. My mom was now the single mom of a 12-year-old and a 15-year-old, and my dad’s initial diagnosis was cancer (the spontaneous clotting is a common enough feature of his kind of cancer that it…

I’m sorry for what you and your family went through. It’s horrifying to already be in a situation where you feel so helpless and then be made to feel even smaller and more out of control by the people who are supposed to be helping you. And it’s incredibly disheartening to hear that people like Serena Williams (or…

The same thing happened to my father (who had a small stroke, which went undiagnosed by his doctors, who more or less told my mother to shut up and sit down when she tried to advocate for him and explain his symptoms, which he was no longer equipped to explain himself), except he died. After we found him unconscious…

Ugh, Hugh, come the fuck on. You and Tom Hanks should both know better than this.

I’m currently on a long-ish TDY to the DMV and live in Arlington. I don’t have kids, but I know a lot of people who do. What I’ve heard is that while a lot of the schools in Northern Virginia are quite good, there are also major issues with bullying, student burnout and intense pressure on kids to perform and “be…

It might be worth e-mailing El Centro or posting to their Facebook page and tell them directly that they’re not getting your brunch business specifically because of their racist door policies. I don’t think I’ve ever been there, but I certainly won’t go now that I know this is going on, and I’m going to pass the word…

Bernie Sanders? His book Our Revolution dropped a week after election day.

Uh, it’s not “customary to ignore a sneeze” in China- I lived there for two years, and the typical response to a sneeze was to say, “一百岁,” shorthand for, “May you live a hundred years.”

Then they should have said that if you identify as a woman or as woman-aligned, then your work is welcome here, not attempted to half-assedly used “femme” as a catch-all term for whoever decides that they want to appropriate it for themselves, whether they’re straight, male or whatever. Because again, inviting art…