If you want to think I'm a crackpot for believing in UFOs, fine, but for me the question of "why are our skies not filled with UFOs?" is bizarre when our skies are filled with UFOs. It's like asking why there are no elephants in Africa. LOOK UP dammit.

Oh, you've never been kidnapped by a chef then. Must be nice.

What is so fascinating about that crotch?