Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

ONE OF THESE FAT FLYING FIRE FUCKS IS GONNA DIE TO A DUMB ARROW AND COME BACK AS AN ICE DRAGON THERES NO WAY THIS WONT HAPPEN

No there was not.

wow, a tom hardy but no harry styles blog??? tom bias, much?

Not to mention that the US is playing the kind of relaxed-yet-kinda-inspired ball that it hadn’t played in ages. It’s almost like Arena gets the guys to not just express themselves and have fun, but also gives them a solid, tactical footing to express themselves with.

Thank goodness. We were all worried that you’d find new soccer stories to misreport.

When last we updated you

“What happened was we were a yard away from winning another Super Bowl.”

Really? You make a drug reference regarding how mellow Jamaica was and you pick Valium? JAMAICA?

Jesus, was the whole Jamaican team on Valium?

Did you pay David Cross for the rights to that joke?

Your posts are even more pointless.

Well done. That poster is fucking insufferable, and you just destroyed him ( and a good portion of the other people who write here).

A wise man once said: Fuck off you twat.

Jalopnik was here first, princess.

If you’re gonna move to our neighborhood, you’re gonna conform to our way of life. Not the other way around.

That is the best part of living in the red river area! Your proximity to the night life venues. Who the fuck moves there for a quiet retreat?!

I don’t live in Austin, but seriously fuck these people. People who move into an established neighborhood and then complain about what’s already established are the worst of humanity.

I had to turn the volume on my computer way up to hear that ‘jingling’...the sound of her moving around in the car were many times louder.