In my experience, University Health Services BARELY qualify as medical professionals.

Was it fluffy-haired mc-crazyeyes up there?

The most perfect explanation for why paternity leave is necessary was given on an NPR show this morning (LA's station, cannot remember which show or the name of the researcher.) They have done studies and found that when a father does not have time with the baby early on, it sets up a pattern where he never feels…

Considering that childbirth involves some stress and strain on certain mommy body parts, why don't we assume it's good for daddy to stay home for a few days to wait on mommy and baby? Let's not demand intimate specifics, let's all be grownups and just assume she needs a little pampering and assistance.

The minute we start judging people for wanting to be there to see their children be born, then that is the minute we know something is wrong with our society.

True, and I said that. I was like, "This is ALL so illegal, but how dare you think I will MANAGE YOUR RESTAURANT FOR FREE."

Well they do it because it really helps all their customers who have trouble with words (as we know they so often do):

Working at the zoo-
Lady (aggressively): "Your polar bear is FILTHY, why don't you wash it?!?'
Me: "Um, it's a Syrian Brown Bear. It's meant to be that colour."

My favorite was always when people said they were GF because of celiac and then ordered beer. Like...no. Not how it works.

UGH. So obnoxious. But I do love when people ask for ridiculous requests like that, or for crazy substitutions b/c our kitchen just won't do it, and I get to tell customers NOPE. One of my greatest pleasures.

That's...unquestionably horrible. How does one even discover they like something like that?

Haha ok TWIST my arm! Abridged version:

My all time favorite was the woman who dithered over the wine menu for a while, refusing any conversation or assistance (Ma'am, all wines are available by the glass, you're welcome to taste anything, if you're unsure) finally settled settled on a Pinot Noir, only to angrily send it back declaring loudly, "Maybe you…

My girlfriend is going to have to hear me shouting "HOW DO YOU BANANAS" at her periodically for the rest of the day, and I'm going to blame you for it.

On the subject of the first person: I worked as a banquet server at a major university, and part of my job during basketball games was to wheel the cart with the head coach's postgame food up to his office. I swear to god, if one more person had made some "You can just stop that right here!" comment, I would've been…

I stood in line behind this guy once:

This is slightly off topic, but I have celiac and am gluten free 4 life. I constantly have people tell me that things like pasta, bread or cake don't have any wheat in them because they are made of flour.

Woman in coffee shop: Um... I would like a tall black coffee.... also um... does the coffee have like wheat gluten in it...

To be fair to the Wendy's milkshake person, the myth of fast food milkshakes not containing dairy is a pervasive urban legend...

Ah yes, fish. The weirdest and most ethnic of foods.