Shhhh... you're wrecking our fun!

"The Lord showed him in a vision that he was supposed to marry me. And my husband said: ‘I don't want to get married. I want to wait till I'm 27. I want to see the world. I want to have a great time in life. I don't want to marry this girl.' "

I also love how she assumes it's because they knew they were wrong that they got the fuck out of Orlando. Like, "Okay, well, since we've perpetrated a miscarriage of justice, we should probably make sure we've got the getaway vehicle warmed up and ready to go." Instead of, you know, "Those crazy fuckers on TV have…

Kate gets to hang out with Cat Deely? Okay, now I'm jealous.

If it's like the last time News got caught doing this, it's just a case of someone not changing the password from the one the phone comes with (0000 or 9999, etc., depending what kind of phone it is), or making the password really easy to guess.

Takes one to — eh, fuck it.

Saddest game of BINGO ever. And that's saying something.

Help me out here, Jezzies:

I think she has a lot more in common with Pamela Anderson than with Paris Hilton. Like Pamela Anderson, Price seems to have worked hard to parlay a certain amount of shamelessness and a willingness to encourage people to gawk at her without any real talent at anything into a shit ton of money. Paris Hilton parlayed…

Wow, Katie Price always struck me as the English version of Pamela Anderson. Maybe I was wrong. Reading that letter (and knowing that she is proudly raising a blind, autistic child), I have to give her a truckload of credit. Good on her.

Well, I guess I won't be watching the All-Star Game. Who's with me?

Finding this connection between the Duchess of Cambridge and Jane Austen is very exciting since, in many ways, Catherine is the modern Jane Austen heroine: a middle-class girl marrying the future King of England.

This is getting exhausting.

Is anyone else thinking of Arrested Development: "[W]e’re going to have enough money for you to neuter thousands of animals. You can make dogs and cats a complete thing of the past. No more dogs and cats."

Congratulations, red states. You're going to have a bunch of dead rape victims on your hands. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

Good advice, that.

I'm sorry, I wasn't totally clear. With a C-section, there were a few minutes where the child was "alive", whereas with a vaginal birth, the child would have been born completely dead and kind of a mess. Apparently, it was worth major abdominal surgery for her to I guess hold the baby and talk to it or something. …

The politicians don't really believe that abortion will actually become illegal (at least not at the national level). But the individuals who are pro-life believe that a.) if a woman has an abortion, she deserves to die (a friend actually said to me once, "Well, obviously, having an abortion is just like murder,…

There's a woman in my city who kept an ancephalitic pregnancy. She made a big deal about carrying it to term and choosing to have a C-section rather than a vaginal birth, since the child likely would have died if she'd chosen to give birth. She called print and television reporters to do stories about her choice. I…

My husband works for a State Department contractor. The government contract requires that the company he works for pay employees an hourly salary and then an additional "health and welfare benefit" of about $500. That's paid because the company contributes zero dollars towards health insurance. However, he gets…