Barber: What kind of look are you going for, bud?

"I, am an a$$hole."

+.20

Laugh all you want, but after the game those tailgaters were ready to drive their cars through a brick wall for him.

Everyone should also be aware that Billy was the real star of this race:

Just so everyone knows what this is about:

This is ridiculous. There isn't a single peanut butter cereal on the list. If there were, it would be #1.

I hope Mike Lombardi has his old job of "answering Bill Simmons' phone calls" all lined up.

Cop 1: Sir, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say...

First Row Tickets to Disney on Ice; 235.00 Each.

Todd Haley tried to get the therapist's number during couples therapy.

Todd Haley has thrown an Xbox controller through a flatscreen TV, at a demo kiosk inside a Toys R Us.

Todd Haley tailgated my 5 year old daughter in his Camaro when she was learning to ride a bike.

Todd Haley has loudly called a little league umpire a "cocksucker" on more than one occasion.

More than anything, Glen, I want you to kill people.

"The San Antonio Spurs picked Tim Duncan on June 25, 1997, more or less 161 years after San Antonio saw the Battle of the Alamo. Even the Spurs' success with Duncan has not washed away the memory of that day from San Antonio residents' minds."

How is he a straight man in Anchorman? Is it because he's wearing a suit? He opens by spooning mayonnaise into a toaster.