British slang really ought to be one of the country’s better exports in the post-Brexit era.

She phones to give advance notice. They have to respond.

Unfortunately, she tends to phone them before making attempts, to make sure that they’ll be there.

If we knew that, we’d also know why she keeps chucking herself into the sea.

It wasn’t the original Baby Blimp, it was a smaller copy. The original followed Spanky McTwitterhands to Ireland.

Did you miss Instagram being bought by Facebook? It happened in 2012.

It is. She’s be delightfully bonkers if she wasn’t so toxic.

Erm, as an adopted Brit, I had to take a quiz to get my papers in order. So, while I know that you guys are special, Portugal is actually Britain’s eternal bae. That revolutionary war thing kind of screwed up the relationship for a while.

Being born in sodding Tooting isn’t enough for some racists.

I was super-late to Deadwood, and bought the box-set once everything was (supposedly) over. I’d read about it, so I kinda knew what to expect, but MrExpat went into it blind.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t drink and comment.

I will star you rather than the racist. I bet he wanks off to Tommy Robinson videos.

Russian Communists believe they were trolled by the Game of Thrones finale.

The baby blimp is being prepared, too.

Yes.

I’m stealing this for use at a later date.

The formula I was always told was [older person’s age], divided by half and then add seven years. If the younger person is younger than that, it’s nasty.

I know, sweetheart, I know...

Now if we could just excise the corruption from our respective politicians...

I remember when my grandmother’s landline was a black brick with a crank that you turned to connect to the operator, who would then connect you to the phone number you wanted. And this was in the 80s! We’ve come a long way. These days, you can do all your banking from a smartphone and when you go shopping you can…