She knows the code to your gun safe. Just be thankful she doesn’t have thumbs.

Africa? Really? Just Africa? C’mon, I expected better from the Root.

I know of a lovely wildlife conservancy where she could go on a walking safari at sunset (huntin’ time).

Children in the UK can drink beer, cider or wine (no hard liquor) with a meal in a pub or restaurant if they’re accompanied by an adult.

Bad news: they recently passed a law banning immigrants from buying property.

Chiming in late here to say that I grew up around the people who were raised in the Karen suburb of Nairobi. That is where the old money white people stay when they aren’t at their farms. If they’re “pooor” they live in Muthaiga or just stay with friends when they come into the city.

Brits usually use BAME (Black/Asian Minority Ethnic) as a designation in official-speak. Trust that the (South) Asian community don’t see themselves as having much in common with the Afro-Caribbean community.

I’ve been here (the UK) for a while now.

Yeah, but look at our cute baby elephants! Also, we have a hotel where giraffes might greet you while you’re having breakfast.

Those lions are in Tsavo, which is a different national park.

We are wondering who let her leave her hotel room dressed like that.

That’s Dame Vera Lynn, thank you very much.

The Mail is a straight swapsies. Grieg is going to tone down the madness over there, but one of Dacre’s consiglieres is taking over the MoS, so expect that to ramp up the batshittery.

The boomers had children. Some of those children absorbed their parents’ views. The rot runs deep, and is going to need a pressure-wash to get rid of.

Being placed in a solitary cell is not getting out of jail.

If a short video was played on flights just before landing, highlighting the dubious charms of African prisons, I think we’d see less bad behaviour from visitors. I’m a native, and I’m terrified of getting stopped for speeding when I’m home, because that means spending time in the cells before going to court.

Kenyan prisons are terrible, like “shave your head when you go in to prevent lice” terrible. You need your family to bring you food and basic toiletries. Your toilet is a bucket that you are sharing with up to 20 other people.

France has actually passed a bill to do just that. No mobile phone use in schools when the new school year begins in September.

I scanned too quickly and read that as “Florida in the water.”

I once had a glass that held half a bottle of wine at a time. The fact that I still have a functioning liver is still a source of amazement to me.