No harm, no foul. I was at least five hours into a scrumpy frenzy.

Erm what?

There has been much screaming and chucking of wine corks at the telly here at Expat Manor. Next time, I'll slaughter the livestock and offer burnt offerings to the gods before the match.

Oh, titty-bum...

And now we're into penalties! Vamos, la sele!

Hey! The alternative national anthem! I think I'm supposed to stand to attention before pressing play.