Paris Hilton called; she wants her dead-eyed stare back.

Blue Ivy encompasses my emotions perfectly in regards to Igloo's obtuse nature in this situation:

Awesome awesome gif!

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Poor Ziggy.

Here's the thing though. The restaurant has a renowned dish designed with a specific set of ingredients. Some customer who has already shown a propensity for complaining (the wine list) comes in and asks for a ranch dressing who has probably not had homemade ranch dressing.

That's the point, though, isn't it? You should go to TGIF if you prefer ranch dressing to some beautiful bit of perfection a chef thinks s/he has created. There's no shame in that, but not everything you want all the time everywhere you go should always be available to you. Just like TGIF wouldn't be able to serve you…

Yeah, but I'd be willing to bet that fresh made ranch would taste wrong to that guy.

Leaving out this story makes him look like a "cop killer" instead of a disturbed man on a rampage.

Out of this selection of stories, THAT's the one that bothered you?

Bullshit. Going to this kind of restaurant is like going to the Louvre and asking them to hang up some fucking Thomas Kinkade paintings. You're asking for an experience they don't fucking offer. Go somewhere that does, and stop wasting people's time.

I sincerely doubt that there was any ranch dressing in that kitchen to be had.

Did the kid look like this?

I read this a little fast the first time and thought the kid was a five year old. Read it again and nope. Definitely a teenager. Thank god for that granddad.

I was serving a grandfather and his teenage grandson. The kid asked for a bowl of chili, at which point I explained that we were out of chili, apologized (why we as servers have to do this, I don't know, but we do) and told him the other soups we had available. The kid said, "But I wanted the chili." Ok, well,…

I just threw up a little bit thinking about ranch dressing on shrimp.