shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh take a nap

What gets me about the Rachel Roy rumors is that it seems like more of a calculated Alpha move against Dame Dash than an unbridled sexual affair.

That’s too much work

This relationship looks exhausting.

You’re right. That would be completely taboo.

Good.

“Take yer llama and git”

Ryan, your life is just like that show except for the fact that it’s nothing like it at all.

I insulted him to his face at a concert. Really small venue event for charity. You were never more than three people away from the stage. The show started two hours late and after standing outside in stilettos waiting to get in the venue, I was not in the mood. I was standing dead center in front of the stage, being…

This just in from wilted 51 year old flower Monica Bellucci:

BEAUTY THREAD!

Everything about this woman is boring. I can’t even say she’s vanilla, because vanilla is actually delicious.

Manziel threw a 48-hour rager in a rented L.A. mansion that caused $20,000 worth of damage

I see what you’re saying, but I still think it’s a struggle. People engage in behaviors all the time that they know full well are self-destructive, but they can’t figure out how to stop. Take it from someone who used to weigh 296 pounds. You know, full damn well, that you shouldn’t be putting that Big Mac in your…

Whatever Happened to Johnny Fucking Football?

This makes me like Dean Cain, a person about whom I had zero feelings whatsoever previously. I bet he’d watch Antiques Roadshow and drink wine on the couch with me, too.

My wife and I got married during spring of the Great Recession. I lost my job 2 months prior and she was about to start her career as an attorney 2 months after our wedding. We spent a week down in Playa Mujeres at a really nice resort. We came back to move into our apartment and continued our honeymoon in Vegas for a…

Rainn Wilson: Better Brandon than yr bullshit hippie name. OH YEAH FEEL THE BURN

Thing about that is that aliens, at least, are real.