This is awesome. Love that he got the Office Space reference without missing a beat, too.

Yep, and totally should have. When I make it a point to be a dick who's marked like one, I make damn sure that they won't be able to use the driver's side door.

Well played.

but in reality, i don't the cops would stand a chance...

Cornwell: Here, take this hush money and just go away. After all, your client likes to fuck athletes.

The old adage of "Just because you can doesn't always mean you should" comes to mind...

I'm on the 16th floor and I have to go run to the windows if there's a chance I get to see the fire trucks go by with all their lights flashing.

Waiting for all the internet legal experts who said that he was guilty of murder, and it would be an easy case to prove.

Don't forget painted drum brakes and fire stickers and fake hood scoops.

It's spinach quiche with bacon, looks girly, but looks can be deceiving, inside of every miata is manly bacon.

Cats suck.

With any luck, these morons will have the lifespan of a caveman.

I liked the Paleo Diet so much, I decided to try Paleo Couples Therapy.

OK, so before we get to the silly downshifting nonsense, let's talk about how around 0:35, he turns the wheel about 90 degrees to the right. Now ... I've never driven a Ferrari, but I'm guessing that at "aircraft pursuit speed", a steering input like that would initiate a slide, a spin, or a flip. It would not do a…

I only caught the last 15 minutes of this show. It only piqued my interest because it had the guy who played the T-1000 in it. Five minutes in I knew it was the single dumbest thing I had ever watched on TV ever. And that's saying a lot. Kept watching because of schadenfreude.

Eli Manning looking at things with a tablet dot tumblr dot com

I a little more subdued with helicopters, but living in LA, they're going over all the time and I always have to look. My kids will look and point and then go on to something else, meanwhile I'm sitting there drooling looking skyward.

Yeah, I was just considering this question and by the age of 15 alone I pretty much needed to have the sexual history of Wilt Chamberlain to outpace all the furious wanking I had done up to that point, and that number sure as hell hasn't gone DOWN in the interim. They could hook me and some poor unfortunate woman up…

Yeah. Wrote it one handed.

I probably haven't had sex more in my life more times than I've wacked it for just a 3 month period when I was 18..and I'm 44 now and had steady wife/gf since I was 21. It isn't even close if you look at my entire life.