He's smart enough to have his back to the Cowboys game?

He can read?

Barry's Petcheckdown Receivers

However, for the tenth year in a row, the most common thing a fantasy football owner is called is "dangerously overweight".

Here's a free one: Please Samer, Don't Hurt Em. It really only works if your name's Samer.

Clearly they're just catering to the die-hards, dropping the kids off at the pool.

man the whole "buy and xbox one and get a free game" thing kinda sucks for those who already bought the thing... i mean i know its just a timeing thing. alot of people preach waiting and being patient till deals pop up. i bought the thing day one... although i did get a year of free xbox live which equates to 60 bucks…

As a dog, I find this absolutely absurd.

I would like to take this opportunity to confirm for the record that I am also a cat.

Does it really matter to you? Have you ever watched the show?

going to really miss his current time slot tbh. It was nice being able to wind the day down with some witty and sarcastic sports discussion. It was the most engaging thing on tv during its time slot quite a fair amount of time.

I never got the "dudebro" thing...If XBOX = dudebro, then Playstation = weebos? Why generalize? Why can't fucking gamers be gamers without worry about a fucking image. WHHHY

Fuck turf. Back in college I was in marching band, and we had the choice of a grass field with a severe angle or a turf field for practice, and we always opted for grass. Cause turf will fucking flay the skin off your limbs. And this was for an activity that didn't involve a lot of falling down.

Does Deadspin get a vote in this one too?

"Aw, I'm sorry... I had no idea how this machine worked." -Starlord

I guess I can relate to that.

It took a massive backlash for them to realize they're dumb? I'm starting to think ESPN and the NFL are run by the same people.

IT'S THE CANNON OR DEATH, SALMON. CHOOSE WISELY.

To your wife's credit, she does laugh at all your jokes and I think I speak for everyone here when I say that this is more hardship than any one woman should endure.