I once ate an entire wedge of brie knowing damn well it was brie

I once ate a Filet-o-Fish on a Lent Friday.

When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

"Try to wrap your head around a Yankees fan criticizing Cano with words like "But he did leave for the money.""